"Altered View of the Altar"

Most of us have been in a church service in which an altar call was mad. It think by being in so many services with altar calls of varying reasons, I formed an idea of reasons to go to the atar. Accepting Chris, wanting to be baptized, major life tragedies, and repentence were just a few reasons, I in my head, had deemed "altar worthy" causes. Well, God really started working in me on this about a year or so ago. I started seeing the altar as a place of total surrender to Him, an outward representation that I was forgetting all those people behind me and looking to God. I twas my way of saying, "Lord, my life is in your hands alone and I am physically demonstrating it." The altar became my "hiding place. But, God is always offering us insight and revelation and this Sunday my view of the altar was altered again.

Up until this point I used the altar tas a place to bring my requests to the Lord, ask for forgiveness, pray for change, and knowledge of His will. The past month I have made many an altar visit---praying, crying, and earnestly seeking His will for my life. As usual, God moved in an amazing way! Each service, our church has a "call to prayer" before the message, where the altar is open. This past Sunday, I sat int h pew and thought about how thankful I was that God was really moving and guiding me as I had asked. Then I realized that the altr is just as much a place of thanksgiving and praise as it is a place to sacrifice and petition. Immediately, I walked ot the altar, knelt and thanked God for the works He had done and will do. I was humbled. Let me tell you, it is one thing to thank God, but it is even more awing to thank HIm from your knees ( the same postition in which you plead for forgiveness).

Now, I can't take credit for this idea of thanking God at the altar. It is no new concept. In fact, the Old Testament is filled with stories of the Hebrew people building altars to God for prayer, petition, and when they were victorious, thanksgiving. These altars they built were physical reminders of what the Lord had brought them through. It was a reminder of God's goodness and faithfulness. It is awe inspiring to sit back and think of the many times God has worked in a mighty way in my life and all the "altars" I could have built in remembrance of Him.

He broke the 10 Commandments... for real

Don't you hate when you are given specific instructions, you try to do it your own way, then it fails? Yeah, it's even worse than having no instructions at all and failing because there is typically someone who gave you the instructions. Well, I was reading about Moses and his trip down from Mount Sinai with the 10 Commandments. While he was gone, he left Aaron in charge [this is the same Aaron that will also be the High Priest]. Upon his return with an amazing encounter with God, he came home to an idol made of gold. Moses had just spent the latter part of his visit with God, pleading for the people. In his anger (which was probably justified), he threw the 10 Commandments and broke them.

Now once he chastised the people for their incredibly stupid actions, he had to walk all the way up the mountain to go ask God to give him a second copy. Now, think about how Moses must have felt. He just had an encounter, was given instructions, returned to the people put under his care, and then preceded to break the law that God had given him. Yeah, imagine Moses playing out the conversation he was about to have with God... "Uh, Lord, I know I begged and pleaded for your mercy for the people...but when I went down the mountain they had built an idol to another God and I got kinda angry and threw the commandments you gave me...and broke them---you think you could make a second copy?" This was the father of all "I broke it" stories. Moses must have felt like a horrible leader, feared for his life, and felt liek there was no hope as he climbed that mountain.

Doesn't that happen to us though? God has a will for our life, instructions. And while we are waiting for him to reveal the specifics of His will, we go astray. Now most of us don't melt gold into the shape of a cow and worship it, but we probably replace the time we should be focusing on God to focus on other things in our life. Others of us are like Moses, we have an amazing encounter with God away from the world (sometimes pleading for mercy). It's often at a conference, retreat, or maybe just each Sunday... Then we travel back down the mountain, God's word in hand, we hit the world where there is chaos, idol worshiping, unhappy people and we throw down and break the word God just gave us.

It shouldn't be like this though. God has given us his Word which is living and breathing. He has also given us the Holy Spirit to lead, guide, and direct us. It's all to easy to worship and focus on God when we are on the mountain alone with Him, but forget and get caught up with our feelings toward the craziness in this world. I just pray that God will grant me the strength and preparation that when I reach the bottom of the mountain, I'll be able to hold on tight to the Word He gave me...

2 days+ 1 goal= Kingdom Work

So, as I was reading "One Thing You Can't Do in Heaven", a thought hit me. There are only 2 days that should be of concern to us... the rest do not matter. Judgement day and today. Now the first, Judgement day, is the most pressing concern. Many of us believe that we have that one covered, so we worry about today, tomorrow, next week, our future, who we will marry, what our career will be, if we will have enough money, how to pay off student loans, what to wear, where to live,who is dating who, who to support, and what team will play in the championship game....

REALITY CHECK HERE!

We should constantly be concerned with our Judgement... think of what a short time we spend on this earth compared to what a long time we spend in eternity. How many people that we call close friends and family are walking around us, unsure about what their Judgement day will reveal. Now, I am speaking to myself just as much as anyone else, but what has happened to us? The Gospel is the living, breathing, Word of God in which He sent His son in a redemptive plan. We are undeserving, we are sinful, we are cunning, evil, lying, greedy, impure, immoral individuals who have been clothed in the righteousness and of a Savior and we sit around and worry about our future? Really, I mean come on...

TODAY is the only day we are promised and the only day we can actively take part in... think about it. The present is our opportunity to live the life we have been called to. In our Ephesians Bible study, we read yesterday in the 5th chapter where Paul calls the church to a worthy, wise, walk in the light. There is something very interesting about the parallels of light and darkness in the Bible in relation to science. Darkness, which represents all that is not of God, has not properties of its own. Darkness cannnot move, it does not overpower light. Instead, it is the absence of light. How cool is that? We are given one true light. It is up to us. We can choose to actively take part in the darkness or actively take part in spreading the light. There is no room for any other option.

So, back to the whole two day thing... I kind of get side tracked. I want to live my today to count for my Judgement day. Now, we are not saved by works, but they are still important in our daily lives. I want to take it one step further and challenge myself to live my today not just for my Judgement Day, but for those around me. I want to live a life in which my actions not only reflect my relationship with Christ, but that my words do also. It is great to speak through your actions... but how many people do you know that were saved without hearing the Word? Not many. It's our job to get out there and speak it.

So, as hard as it may be. I'm going to try to live for Judgement day, today. And let tomorrow worry about itself (just as Jesus said). It has been a recent struggle for me to figure out where I am going to live and how I am going to pay for my schooling and stuff, but you know what? That is ultimately in God's hands. I just have to acknowledge that and start living for what He put me here for: the advancement of His Kingdom.

Cause you gotta have friends...

I just can't express how incredibly grateful I am for my friends... I am surrounded by many true friends whom I love! At any moment in my life it's Krispy Kreme runs, late night talks, IHOP breakfasts, random shopping, fixing dinner, discussing God in the car, Barnes and Nobles to 'study', lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays, marshmallow shooting, car riding, dancing, poker playing, movie watching, singing to the top of our lungs fun! And I wouldn't trade any one of my friends for any of it...

See, I am one of those people who believes that God brings people into your life. And if I started to make a list of all the people that I think He brought into my life for a specific purpose, the list would never end. Tonight I am particularly thankful for those friends that have been there for me a lot recently... and in the harder times. You guys, have really pulled me through and I hope that someday I'm able to do the same for you. I just think that my generation, especially, takes people for granted and is so selfish. We don't take time to really invest in our relationships and make them count. All too often it is a matter of convenience... Forget convenience! I want a friend who will drive from Tennessee or Tuscaloosa to visit and I want to be that friend that does the same.... I want to be that friend that calls just to check on your day or brings you a doughnut when you're down. It's not because I get anything out of it really... It's an exchange. Friendships are made to be a support for two people, not one. And I thank God often for all the support beams he's put in my life. Thanks guys! I love you!

Checking in My Luggage for a Stamp.

Wow, it's been like 2 months since I've last written! One word: school. I have managed to slip away from my studies and write a bit. I've also been painting when I get a chance, so that has taken up what little free time I have. I'm going to try to post the pictures of what I've painted these past few months. But that's not the point of me writing. I want to explore a topic on here that I feel that God pointed out to me yesterday as I was sharing my life story with Heidi.

As we were talking about our pasts and how God is working in our lives, I looked at her and said, "You know Heidi, I realized not too long ago that there has to come a point in our lives where we check in the luggage we have been carrying around from our past and trade it in for a stamp on our passports." There are some things that we all have been through in our past that really do hurt a lot. And we carry that with us as we go through life, but God wants to take it from us---remove our burdens and use us! All too often though, we think that because we have dealt with our past problems that they will just disappear, but that is not usually the case. They will still exist and the thought of them will most likely still hurt, but the burden of them will be removed and when we are going through the rougher seasons in life and they resurface, we have a God we can turn to who will help us through.

This above is not necessarily something I'm dealing with right now, but rather an experience I've dealt with and a lesson I've learned. I'm no expert in dealing with the past, but it has certainly been a struggle of mine that I believe God has helped me persevere through.

On another note, here's some little lessons I've learned in these past 2 weeks which have been extremely difficult to go through:
~Friends really are the family we pick ourselves
~God is ultimately in control---in ALL areas of our lives
~rest is a good thing
~sometimes you have to get a bad grade to remind you to work harder in a class
~knowing God at a young age gives us SO much time to do things for God
~it's important to tell people you love them-even if it's not in words
~Doctors are skilled, but the Ultimate Physician is even more skilled
~prayer is powerful-rather God is powerful through prayer
~Sometimes, there's just not enough time in the day to show all the love I have in my heart for people.

My Life Right Now: a confession, a cry, and a hope [part one]

I have a ton of stuff on my mind right now and don't know where to begin. There are times that organizing my thoughts is an impossible task. So yeah, I'm going to make an attempt. Right now, I'm a bit frustrated/confused/pensive/"I just don't know"/happy/anxious/excited/scared/overwhelmed.... With that said, let me attempt to make sense of it all and share a bit of my heart with you.

Most recently, my thoughts have been three-fold. I've been thinking of God's plan for my life and what to do now, I have been really appreciating the relationships I have with friends and family, and a curiosity has been sparked in my mind about some topics of the Christian faith. God has definitely brought me to a place right now, where I have to put my faith in Him and trust that everything that is happening in my life is part of His ultimate plan. I have gotten distracted recently and lost sight of my purpose, but God is re-igniting that flame in my heart. But in order for a flame of desire to burn in our hearts for God, we must sacrifice whatever is filling our hearts currently. I like to think of a sacrifice as "giving up something you love for something or someone that you love more". Now, I'm not sure if I heard that somewhere or came up with it on my own, but how true? If we truly love God more than anything or anyone else, we will be willing to give up whatever we have in our grasp to reach out to Him. I believe God has an amazing plan for my life and I am living it, but I also believe that in order for me to live the John 10:10 life, I must let go of that which I hold dear to me and reach out for Him.

John 10:10
10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

As for the relationships in my life right now, I am learning from them too. For the first time in my life, I am beginning to trust people again. I have learned to let go of the past and love with all I have. I have amazing people that have been placed in my life who love me and go above and beyond. They make sacrifices for me and for that I am SO grateful. I'm also learning how to be vulnerable around those I love. For so long, I have been putting up the "I'm ok and have everything under control" front and I'm through with that. This past year I have learned that it is ok for me not to be ok...

I might have been a little off in saying that my thoughts were "three-fold", because I have one or two other things I'd like to mention before I get to the third "thought" on my list above. I want to take a moment to talk about choir practice last night... I had a normal day at work yesterday and then an amazing time at Freshman orientation. I was able to talk to some people and tell them about Campus Crusade and according to Drew, I was extremely "peppy". Then I got to choir practice and we began to sing. Then Liv came in late and shared an amazing story about the youth service and God's presence was in the room! It was everywhere. The songs we are singing are amazing... not just because of the music or the lyrics, but because of the truth that we are proclaiming in them. The praise and thanksgiving we are offering to the ONE TRUE GOD. I was overwhelmed with praise last night and during the last song, "God is Here", I was moved to tears. The tears were not tears of joy, nor tears of sorrow. They were tears of amazement, of awe, that we serve such a Holy, Awesome, and Mighty God. Here are the words:

There is a sweet anointing in the sanctuary
There is a stillness in the atmosphere
Come and lay down
The burdens you have carried
For in this sanctuary God is here

Chorus
He is here, He is here
To break the yoke and lift the heavy burdened
He is here, He is here
To heal the hopeless heart and bless the broken
Come and lay down
The burdens you have carried
For in this sanctuary God is here

SIMPLY AMAZING!

Ok, after having said all of this... I think this blog has reached it's limit length-wise. While I am not tired of typing, you might be getting a bit tired of reading. I will talk about my other two thoughts tomorrow. One of them is the doctrine of election (not a debate, just a thought about it) and the other is Campus Crusade. I hope these words from my heart have been clear and purposeful. I hope that I have said something that has stirred your heart and made you think about what God is doing in your life... pray for ignition of the flame in your heart, I know I am praying hard for it!

God's Post-It Note: "I'm in control. Love Always, God"

Sunday and yesterday I was reminded, yet again, that God's timing is perfect timing. I'm going to share the stories of these two little "post-it note reminders" God placed in my life to let me know He is in control. Sunday I was running late for choir and I couldn't get the top part of the dress I was wearing zipped. In a hurry, I rushed out of the door and decided I'd just let someone at church finish zipping it and wear my jacket over it until then. Well, an old lady and old man were sitting outside chatting with there dogs and she stopped me to let me know that my dress needed to be zipped up the rest of the way. Needless to say, I ended up with an opportunity to invite them to our church. The old man was very interested, but also concerned that he didn't have any nice clothes to wear. I promised him that it was alright to come as you are, just as long as you come. In this case, me being late, was right on time!

Then yesterday, I stopped by a vet's office to pick up an application for a job. I have been looking for another job for over a month now and can't seem to get a call back from any of the applications I've placed. I filled one out and left it and was going to go to one more vet's office before I headed back home. The entire way to the second office, I prayed that I would get an interview or at least a call back because I was sick of not hearing anything. I stopped by and filled out an application, the lady and I started talking and I ended up getting an interview and hired on the spot. It was kinda crazy considering the fact that I was wearing Nike shorts, a t-shirt, flip-flops, and a baseball cap! So, my last day at this job is August 8th and my first day at that one is the 18th...

Through these two very different instances, I was shown that God is ultimately in control. And for that I am grateful. Oh, so grateful!