Walking Down the Sidewalk

Ok, so I just got really angry for the first time in a while. It was with a co-worker and the reason is irrelevant now... As I was leaving the building, I called Kayla and was ranting about my frustration. I believe my exact words were, "It's times like these that I'd really like to cuss people out, but for some reason... I just don't have it in me". This was followed by a sigh of exasperation. "I don't know what holds me back from being a real jerk in response sometimes," I said, "but I just can't yell and scream back, I don't have it in me--why not?" Kayla's responded, half-jokingly. "Maybe it's cause you have the Holy Spirit in you".

Now, that really got me to thinking. [I had a roughly 14 block round trip, walking in the heat, so I had time to think]... So, maybe she was right. I thought back to a time in my life that I would have responded in today's situation completely different. I probably would have yelled, gotten an attitude, and said some things I would have regretted, but I didn't. That was the old me. I'm sure some of you know who I'm talking about. It wasn't until today somewhere between 18th and 19th street on University Boulevard, that I realized that I am a completely different person than I used to be. See, that is one thing I have struggled with in my faith is the fact that I don't remember the exact time and date when I was saved and it wasn't a miraculous, instantaneous turn around. No, that wasn't what my life needed and God knew it. God took His time changing me and now, looking back, I am SO grateful for that. I've learned SO much and come SO far! And yet, I have SO far to go.

Looking at my life, I see God's hand in every bit of it. In the times that I was obedient, and then as a saving grace and rebuilder of hope when I was disobedient. What a wonderful thought and message. If it takes testing like today, to make me realize how much better I'm doing, then I guess I won't complain. I was reminded of the verses in the Bible that talks about being a new creation:

"17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
2 Corinthians 5:17

Before today, when I read that, I thought of it as an instant thing. I guess, it's on God's timing not ours. Hmm... novel idea huh?